diamondo | INBOX - ROUTE 29

A pool table? ...So that's where you learned how to play, huh?

...I guess so...Kirigiri-kun told me there was one...

[He pulls away a bit at that, though he allows himself to reach out a bit, taking the fabric of Mondo's sleeve in his fingers and tugging on it a bit before letting go.

Come on, you. Wandering aimlessly sounds good.]

There's...a lot of things on the third floor. Some sort of physics lab...an art room...things like that.

Oh yeah?

[Mondo follows Ishimaru without complaint, but he does have to wonder why Ishimaru is telling him this.]

...Yes. It's...

[Well, whatever it is, he doesn't seem too inclined to finish that thought; his next sentences are abrupt, almost jarringingly straightforward.]

I'm not dead. And I'm not Ishida, either.

[Mondo tips his head a bit at that.]

So that part hasn't happened to you. That's good.

...I think...it's going to. Soon, maybe.

[...]

...The art room...there was a supply closet behind it.

There were...hammers in there. Like...like Celes-kun had that one time. In the castle.

[Mondo lets out a shaky breath. That makes sense, doesn't it?]

...Did you remember anything from this place?

[He shakes his head; he can feel himself trembling a bit, but he manages to keep it in check.]

Nothing.

...Yeah, I guess that'd be too convenient, huh?

[Mondo shakes his head a bit. He wants to reach out and touch Ishimaru, but he's not sure how appreciated the gesture would be.]

But... it's okay. You're here now. You've got us here!

[He's quiet for a long moment after that; he's not angry, but he's definitely off in his head somewhere.

It takes him a while to find his thoughts again; his voice is quiet when he does.]

...Can I...can I tell you about...something I did? I don't want you to...hate me, but I need to tell someone. Who'll understand it.

[Mondo turns to Ishimaru when he finally starts speaking, eyes wide. He doesn't understand what happened in Ishimaru's head, but clearly whatever it is clearly is bothering him.]

Hey, hey. You know nothing you could do will make me hate you! But I'll do whatever I can to help, okay?

...I...I voted wrong.

[He's shaking again.]

I didn't...vote for you. I couldn't. I...I wanted...to save you, so I...

[He shakes his head as though to clear it; it doesn't quite work.]

I didn't know what was wrong but you...you wouldn't...you wouldn't tell them that you hadn't done it, but I...believed in you, I started fighting with Naegi-kun about it and I...

[And there are the tears, but this time he actually manages to take a swipe at his eyes, sharp and angry, as though trying to get them to stop.]

I was so angry with them - they were voting to kill you and I couldn't let that happen so I...I voted wrong and...and I guess you only need a majority but I didn't know that at the time and I...

[He trails off then; apparently he's not going to do anything else about the tears.]

[Mondo is silent at first, unable to come up with anything to say. Yes, it is horrible that Ishimaru was willing to sacrifice everyone else for his sake, but he can't really say he's mad at Ishimaru for it. Ishimaru was trying to save him.]

...I don't hate you, kyoudai. How could I ever hate you?

[He reaches out to pull Ishimaru into a hug then, immediately trying to console his friend.]

I'm not gonna lie and say it's okay, 'cause it ain't, but I'm not mad at you. You were trying to save me after all! How could I be mad at you?

[He wants to say that he doesn't deserve it, that Ishimaru never should have tried to defend him, but he knows Ishimaru doesn't want to hear that, so he'll keep quiet.]

I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry you had to go through that.

[Unlike the last few times that Mondo has touched him, Ishimaru doesn't simply allow it this time; he's quick to return that embrace, the gesture fierce, his hands bunching up the back of Mondo's coat in his fists.]

...I'm sorry. It wasn't...enough, and I'm sorry...

[Mondo holds him tightly, reaching up to play with Ishimaru's hair.]

No, no, don't... Shit, don't apologize to me. I know you did everything you could. I know you did. Please don't blame yourself, kyoudai.

[He buries his face in Mondo's coat at that; he doesn't seem like he's going to be able to let go anytime soon.]

I...missed you. I missed you so much.

It's okay. It's okay...

[Mondo continues to run his hand through Ishimaru's hair, still hugging him tightly. He wishes he could offer more than hollow words of comfort, but he's not sure what else to say.]

We're here now. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you here. No matter what, kyoudai.

[That hair-playing gets a soft noise out of him, but it seems that words are failing him otherwise; he'll actually nuzzle up against Mondo after a moment, however, his grip tightening against his coat.

...he doesn't seem like he's going to let go anytime soon, um.]

[He certainly doesn't mind that and Mondo continues to play with Ishimaru's hair, trying his best to soothe his friend.]

It'll be alright. You'll see! We'll bring the rest of our classmates here and everything'll be okay. We won't have to worry about any of that shit. And... And I'll be here for you, I'll always be here for you.

[That just gets him to freeze up a bit, and even if it takes him a moment to find words, he's going to force them out there anyway.]

...You didn't...acknowledge me at all.

[He shakes his head a bit.]

It...it sounds horrible, doesn't it? To think of it like that...but you didn't...say anything to me at all before...

[...before you were executed.]

I didn't?

[Mondo frowns. He can't imagine that, but he has to consider the fact that he wouldn't remember anything here. He also was about to die, that might have had something to do with it.]

...I'm sorry. Shit, I'm so sorry, kyoudai, I... I don't know what I was thinking or why I didn't say anything to you but... fuck, I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that.

...it doesn't hurt anymore.

Not really.

...Are you sure? That shit sounds like it'd hurt a hell of a lot.

It hurt for a while...but I don't...really feel it anymore.

Alice-san...she thinks it's a bad thing, but I don't really mind.

Yeah it... doesn't really sound like a good thing. I mean, I'm glad you're not hurting anymore!

...Still, I'm so fucking sorry, kyoudai.

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ardent - 2014-01-19 20:53 (UTC) - Expand

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diamondo - 2014-01-19 20:58 (UTC) - Expand