[Ishimaru listens to all that in silence; this is definitely getting into Not Good territory, but he doesn't want to just lock up and retreat back into his head, either. That's not to say it isn't tempting, because it is. But he gets the impression that Mondo needs him here.
So he stands there, and he listens, and he tries not to flinch too hard and he tries to keep eye contact once in a while, though it isn't long before he finds that impossible.]
...You were worried about the promise you made. The one to your brother...and you were worried about keeping Fujisaki-kun's secret. I don't...I don't think you wanted to hurt us, and you didn't...fight it, after they found you out. You admitted to everything. I was...I was the one arguing with Naegi-kun about it, not you.
I don't think you would have let us die, though...I really don't.
[Mondo looks up at Ishimaru when his friend starts to speak. He can't quite maintain eye contact, but he does try every so often.]
...Thanks. And I'm... shit, I'm so sorry, kyoudai. I'm sorry I put you through that. I'm sorry I didn't even fucking acknowledge you before I... y'know.
[His voice is quiet for once and Mondo moves to fold his arms, gripping the fabric of his coat tightly in his hands.]
I can't say why I didn't acknowledge you or say anything to you, but shit... I'm so sorry. I know you did everything you could to help me out and I... I should've at least thanked you for that. Or at least said... goodbye or... or something.
[Mondo finally looks up again, expression determined.]
But I won't let anything like that happen here! I'll always be here for you, no matter what! I don't know if I'll ever be able to make up for what happened, but even if I can't, I'll always be here for you!
[Ishimaru just takes a moment to take all that in, his eyes sliding closed after a moment; he doesn't seem stressed, though - if nothing else, he seems to be relaxing a bit, slowly becoming a bit more centered.
It's okay. He's going to be okay. It's going to be difficult but they'll work on making everything okay again and locking up isn't going to solve anything, so just...give him a moment to work out how he feels about it.
He opens his eyes once he's calmed himself a bit, meeting Mondo's gaze with his own.]
...You know...that I'm not angry with you, right? I don't...hate you, and I'm not mad.
[He hadn't thought that Ishimaru hated him, but the fact that Ishimaru isn't mad confuses him. How can Ishimaru not be mad after something like that? At the very least, shouldn't he be mad for Mondo refusing to acknowledge him?]
I'm... Shit, I'm glad to hear it but... why? I mean, it's fucking awful. The whole situation.
...I'm...still angry with myself. For not doing enough. Or not...being able to stop you, or...I don't know...it feels like I should have been able to...
[He shakes his head; this isn't...good.]
...I...I still hate myself for that. And I'm probably always going to, but...that's just...it's how things are. Even if it doesn't make sense, I'm probably always going to.
But it's not your fault. And it's not my fault either. The situation isn't...right. It's because of Enoshima.
[Mnnngh. He's not explaining this very well, is he.]
[Mondo reaches out then, though he hesitates for a second before deciding to continue anyway. He gently touches Ishimaru's shoulder like he's not really sure if this is allowed.]
Enoshima's at fault for the whole thing. If you're not gonna blame me for what happened, it ain't fair to blame yourself, y'know? But I know how tough that is to actually believe. I mean, shit, I can't pin the blame solely on Enoshima and be done with it and I doubt you could either.
But it'll be okay. We're here now! We have each other and nothing like that's ever gonna happen again. We'll bring the rest of our classmates here - except her and her sister - and things'll be okay. We'll work through it all and maybe someday we really will accept that this shit's Enoshima's fault and we won't have to keep blaming ourselves, y'know?
[Ishimaru's gaze darts down to Mondo's hand as it comes to rest on his shoulder, though he doesn't pull away or move to shrug him off; to his credit, he doesn't flinch, either. He simply allows it for the time being; eventually he looks back up at Mondo.]
[Mondo squeezes Ishimaru's shoulder before letting go. Then suddenly he grins and it seems like everything is okay again in his world.]
Now c'mon, we've got some sewing to do! That harness isn't gonna make itself!
[Maybe getting Ishimaru's mind off of it will help a little? He can't be sure, but he doesn't want Ishimaru to shut down again. They can work through this a little bit at a time.]
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So he stands there, and he listens, and he tries not to flinch too hard and he tries to keep eye contact once in a while, though it isn't long before he finds that impossible.]
...You were worried about the promise you made. The one to your brother...and you were worried about keeping Fujisaki-kun's secret. I don't...I don't think you wanted to hurt us, and you didn't...fight it, after they found you out. You admitted to everything. I was...I was the one arguing with Naegi-kun about it, not you.
I don't think you would have let us die, though...I really don't.
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...Thanks. And I'm... shit, I'm so sorry, kyoudai. I'm sorry I put you through that. I'm sorry I didn't even fucking acknowledge you before I... y'know.
[His voice is quiet for once and Mondo moves to fold his arms, gripping the fabric of his coat tightly in his hands.]
I can't say why I didn't acknowledge you or say anything to you, but shit... I'm so sorry. I know you did everything you could to help me out and I... I should've at least thanked you for that. Or at least said... goodbye or... or something.
[Mondo finally looks up again, expression determined.]
But I won't let anything like that happen here! I'll always be here for you, no matter what! I don't know if I'll ever be able to make up for what happened, but even if I can't, I'll always be here for you!
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It's okay. He's going to be okay. It's going to be difficult but they'll work on making everything okay again and locking up isn't going to solve anything, so just...give him a moment to work out how he feels about it.
He opens his eyes once he's calmed himself a bit, meeting Mondo's gaze with his own.]
...You know...that I'm not angry with you, right? I don't...hate you, and I'm not mad.
[That seems as good a place to start as any.]
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[He hadn't thought that Ishimaru hated him, but the fact that Ishimaru isn't mad confuses him. How can Ishimaru not be mad after something like that? At the very least, shouldn't he be mad for Mondo refusing to acknowledge him?]
I'm... Shit, I'm glad to hear it but... why? I mean, it's fucking awful. The whole situation.
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[He shakes his head; this isn't...good.]
...I...I still hate myself for that. And I'm probably always going to, but...that's just...it's how things are. Even if it doesn't make sense, I'm probably always going to.
But it's not your fault. And it's not my fault either. The situation isn't...right. It's because of Enoshima.
[Mnnngh. He's not explaining this very well, is he.]
...I'm upset about it, but I don't blame you.
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[Mondo reaches out then, though he hesitates for a second before deciding to continue anyway. He gently touches Ishimaru's shoulder like he's not really sure if this is allowed.]
Enoshima's at fault for the whole thing. If you're not gonna blame me for what happened, it ain't fair to blame yourself, y'know? But I know how tough that is to actually believe. I mean, shit, I can't pin the blame solely on Enoshima and be done with it and I doubt you could either.
But it'll be okay. We're here now! We have each other and nothing like that's ever gonna happen again. We'll bring the rest of our classmates here - except her and her sister - and things'll be okay. We'll work through it all and maybe someday we really will accept that this shit's Enoshima's fault and we won't have to keep blaming ourselves, y'know?
[...Look, he's trying.]
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...Maybe, kyoudai.
[...]
I'd like that.
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[Mondo squeezes Ishimaru's shoulder before letting go. Then suddenly he grins and it seems like everything is okay again in his world.]
Now c'mon, we've got some sewing to do! That harness isn't gonna make itself!
[Maybe getting Ishimaru's mind off of it will help a little? He can't be sure, but he doesn't want Ishimaru to shut down again. They can work through this a little bit at a time.]