diamondo | SEVENTH RIDE ✦ VIDEO

[Guess who woke up inside the Team Rocket base today? Guess who's apparently been gone for at least a month? And guess who's currently staring at the camera like it's the source of all his problems?

If you guessed Mondo then congratulations!]

Okay, what the hell happened? Apparently I can't even go to fucking sleep without something stupid going down. Did I get sent home?

[He rests his elbow on his knee and then places his chin on his hand. It's apparent that Mondo is still in the base - to those who recognize the base, that is - and it looks like he only just got up. Somehow or other his hair is completely unaffected. Don't question it.]

I don't really give a fuck either way, but I've got a major problem.

[He reaches out offscreen to grab something that makes a high-pitched shrieking sound. It's revealed to be a Scraggy who is trying vainly to get Mondo to let go. Those of you who know the biker gang leader might remember that he had a really bitchy Scrafty at one point. ...Yeah.]

Ryder's de-evolved. Unevolved? What-the-fuck-ever. She's not a Scrafty anymore. And she's fucking level thirty. She was level 100 last time I checked! Does this shit happen here? I've never heard of it happening. So what the fuck's going on?

[He finally lets her go and she scurries offscreen. Mondo resettles and while he still looks annoyed, his tone is at least a bit more conversational.]

...So what did I miss anyway?

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...Ah, yeah, that's... a pretty good point...

[He shakes it off though, shrugging a bit at Saionji's question.]

Nah, but I haven't really looked around yet. Did anyone else go missing while I was out?

Big Bro Hinata.

[...She doesn't like him that much! But! Still...]

Buuut since you came back so fast, he might too!

Ah, seriously? Shit, I'm sorry to hear that.

[He didn't get much of a chance to talk to Hinata, but hopefully he'll return soon too!]

Well, yeah, hopefully he does!

But, since it's mostly uncommon, I'm better off forgetting about it. I'll probably just get disappointed.

[HOPE IS USELESS]

[YOU'VE GOT THAT WRONG]

No way, don't give up on him so quickly! We'll definitely find a way to bring everyone here so they don't have to deal with all that shit back home! You can trust me on that!

[YOU MUST NOT LOSE HOPE]

[WHAT THE FUCK, DR1 CAST]

Really, Big Bro Oowada? But most of the arrivals and departures are random... what's to say he won't come back? I doubt any of us can change that.

[NOT HOPEFUL ENOUGH, SAIONJI. That makes her a bit worried about her existence here too, though.]

There's definitely gotta be something behind who stays and who goes. It can't be completely random.

[He doesn't really have any proof of course and he's not comfortable talking about it over the network, but he's pretty sure they can find a way to bring everyone here.]

But do we have any power over them? Knowing how this world works, it's probably some deity.

[DAMN YOUR HOPE]

...Well, I guess it could be some sort of deity, but if it was a deity it'd probably be a Pokémon, and if it's a Pokémon then we'd just have to catch it and it'd listen to us!

[MONDO NO YOU CAN'T CATCH GOD IN A POKÉBALL STOP THAT]

...Well... animal deities... I guess that could be possible. Let's catch it, then! Then force it to do our bidding!

[NO STOP YOU'RE ENCOURAGING HER- SAIONJI YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW CONTROLLING GODS IS A BAD IDEA]

W-Wait, the only thing we're gonna do with it is get it to bring our classmates here, it's not like we're gonna take over the fucking region or anything like that!!

[OH GOD WHAT HAS HE DONE]

But if you have a power of a God with no retribution, why wouldn't you?

[YOU DONE FUCKED UP]

Because that's kinda fucked up...?

How is it 'fucked up', though? After all, if you don't use their power, it'll be like painting a big target board on yourself! People are sneaky, disgusting and full of weaklings banding together. But even the weakest can unite and lynch the strong.

[heeeere we go] If we ever use a Legendary's power, people will be out to get us! It's just to show them that you won't hold back. Give them no room for an uprising- those stupid enough not to back down won't succeed, anyway. Any little wormhole, and people will be using it to shoot you in the head... if anyone gets that power, they'll need to use it. Fast.

Of course, the deity themselves might not be fully controlled... but I'm going by the assumption they are forced to obey, like other Pokémon.

[...um]

There's no reason to use the legendary's power for shit like that, though. Most of the people here seem pretty chill, and even the Team Rocket bastards would think twice about challenging someone with a legendary. Though... I guess you've got a pretty good point, they could team up to try to take the legendary...

[hmmmmmmmm]

So maybe it'd be best to slowly bring people here so no one suspects anything? It'd be better than drawing attention to the legendary, right?

Weeell, I guess that could work... but we always need a Plan B, in case things mess up! Which they probably will, if it's a team effort.

[hahahaha] This world is pretty kind, though. People can't die... financial state is easy to manage... people don't need to fight. But once the circumstances take the turn for the worst, people that you'd never believe that wicked prove you wrong!

[Murderschool and murderisland teaches you that much.]

[Mondo tips his head a bit at that, considering. He definitely understands that even good people can do terrible things.]

...Yeah. I know what you mean.

[She went through the same sort of thing he did, after all.]

I think you just need to have a little more faith in people. I don't think this world is gonna go to crap even if we do catch a legendary Pokémon.

[It can't be as bad as what happened in murderschool or on murderisland.]

Why wouldn't it, though? Once you're higher up on the pedestal, you can see everyone else beneath you ever so clearly!

The world has always been terrible, but once you're a big target, it'll just be much clearer. [WHAT IS FAITH? WHAT IS TRUST? SAIONJI DOESN'T HAVE ISSUES, NOPE]

Buuut, you're saying you won't do that to anyone if they got a Legendary, right, Big Bro Oowada? [She's still apprehensive on trusting Murderschool Students, so she won't- but she can still be friendly. As friendly as Saionji can be.] And your classmates?

SEVENTH RIDE ✦ VIDEO

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this is it, this is gonna break their cr

i'm laughing so hard

THAT WENT BETTER THAN EXPECTED

IT REALLY DID

the fact they even have a cr is astounding