diamondo: (✦ 09)
[ ACTION (GOLDENROD CITY) ]


[Today's cloudy, but it's a nice enough day out to train, which is good! It's been awhile since Mondo's properly had his Pokémon spar against each other. They're currently in the southern outskirts of Goldenrod and his duo of Pokémon, a Pangoro and a Doublade, are staring each other down menacingly, waiting for Mondo to give the signal. He raises his hand and shouts "Go!" and the two Pokémon spring at each other. Pangoro tries to land a Crunch attack while the Doublade barely manages to dodge. The swords counter with a Night Slash attack, but it's aimed just a little too far to the left to hit the panda Pokémon. Mondo normally would scold the Doublade for using a move that wouldn't do enough damage, but he's got other things to worry about.]

Wha-- Shit!

[That Night Slash attack is aimed right at his head. Mondo barely manages to duck in time to avoid getting cut in the face with the attack. The swords go flying harmlessly overhead and eventually manage to stop the move, turning to look at their trainer in shock. Mondo seems perfectly fine when he steadies himself.]

What the fuck was that, Arc!? You could've fucking killed me--

[Mondo finally notices that both the Pangoro and the Doublade are looking at him funny. He realizes that they're not looking at him so much as his hair. He raises a hand to check on his pompadour and--]

WHAT THE FUCK!?

[While Mondo's freaking out, the Doublade returns to float beside the Pangoro. They exchange a brief high five (if it can even be called that) before returning their attention to their trainer.

...A little while later Mondo can be found trying to sneak back into the Dangan House without raising any suspicion. This would be easier said than done if he didn't have his coat up over his head to try to hide the fact that he's currently down a pompadour and his hair looks... really bad right now. Feel free to catch him on his way to the basement!]


[ TEXT ]


[A little while later a text goes out. It's not anonymous and it's in Mondo's usual typing style, so clearly he can't be bothered to pretend that this didn't happen.]

what are some good short guys hairstyles
if youve got pictures send em
descriptions are fine too
i need something asap
diamondo: (✦ 43)
[Guess who woke up inside the Team Rocket base today? Guess who's apparently been gone for at least a month? And guess who's currently staring at the camera like it's the source of all his problems?

If you guessed Mondo then congratulations!]


Okay, what the hell happened? Apparently I can't even go to fucking sleep without something stupid going down. Did I get sent home?

[He rests his elbow on his knee and then places his chin on his hand. It's apparent that Mondo is still in the base - to those who recognize the base, that is - and it looks like he only just got up. Somehow or other his hair is completely unaffected. Don't question it.]

I don't really give a fuck either way, but I've got a major problem.

[He reaches out offscreen to grab something that makes a high-pitched shrieking sound. It's revealed to be a Scraggy who is trying vainly to get Mondo to let go. Those of you who know the biker gang leader might remember that he had a really bitchy Scrafty at one point. ...Yeah.]

Ryder's de-evolved. Unevolved? What-the-fuck-ever. She's not a Scrafty anymore. And she's fucking level thirty. She was level 100 last time I checked! Does this shit happen here? I've never heard of it happening. So what the fuck's going on?

[He finally lets her go and she scurries offscreen. Mondo resettles and while he still looks annoyed, his tone is at least a bit more conversational.]

...So what did I miss anyway?
diamondo: (✦ 38)
what do you do if your friend won't wake up
he's been like this for a whole day
should i take him to a pokémon center??
do they even treat humans??


[Well, this text might explain why Ishimaru and Mondo have been suspiciously absent lately.]
diamondo: (✦ 11)
[ VIDEO ]


[Have you ever wanted to see a biker gang leader be domestic? No? Well turn off your 'Gears now then.

Mondo has taken over the kitchen today, so anyone in the Dangan House has probably been unceremoniously shoved out by one of Mondo's smaller Pokémon. The biker gang leader himself is currently almost unrecognizable; his hair is down and tied out of his face and he's sporting a cute apron with Pichu and Pikachu patterns all over it. His shirt, pants, and shoes are the same, so that might be a clue to those who know him, but otherwise he's definitely looking pretty different today. It seems that one of his Pokémon has gotten bored and has decided to film him since the angle is a little low.

There's a small radio sitting on the kitchen counter blasting horrible rap music with far too many cuss words in it, which Mondo is happily singing along to. Beside said radio are quite a few different trays full of... cookies. Holiday-themed cookies. Little trees and snowmen are all over the place and they actually look pretty good, all things considered. Mondo is currently elbow-deep in dough - it looks like he's actually making these things from scratch rather than a box mix. He'll occasionally glance at a recipe, but he seems to know what he's doing.

After a moment of this, Mondo finally seems to notice that the 'Gear is in his Scrafty's hands and he makes a mad fumble for it, only for her to leap out of the way.]


Get the fuck back here, Ryder!

[Hope that didn't break anyone's eardrums... Also his reputation may or may not be ruined completely now. Whoops.]

[ ACTION - DANGAN HOUSE ]


[After that... embarrassment Mondo can be found packaging the cookies up in little bags. They're holiday-themed bags too; clearly he's gone all out for the season. He's still singing along to the terrible rap, but he seems to be in a good mood despite the hilarity from earlier.

If he catches sight of you, you're probably going to be handed a bag of cookies. Yes, even you Togami and you, Celes.

The cookies inside are actually pretty good! They're not burnt or anything and Mondo seems incredibly proud of himself for something like this. Come taunt him/demand cookies/wonder where in the good hell he got that apron?]
diamondo: (✦ 15)
[ TEXT ]


[A strange text post goes out to the network today. It appears to be a list of some kind.]

Cut for a lengthy to-do list. )

[Five minutes after that's accidentally posted to the network, a proper text follows.]

oh shit ignore that last post, that wasn't supposed to go public
...actually, tell me about the things you want to do here
i need more shit on my to do list
are there any awesome places to see or anything like that?


[ ACTION - VIOLET CITY ]


[It's not surprising that Mondo's out training on the outskirts of the city. What is surprising is that he isn't fighting his Pokémon today. He's ditched the usual coat today and if one looks closely, they can see a massive bruise over his shoulders and leading down toward his back. That might be from fighting his Pokémon. Maybe. But that's not what he's doing today - today he's got his Pokémon out, situated in teams of two facing off against each other.]

Alright, we're gonna practice double battling today. Ryder! Quit trying to punch Pierce, he's your partner!

[The Scrafty shoots him a dirty look, but she knocks it off. At least until Mondo's back is turned, then she socks the Lucario in the gut and knocks him over.]

Lex, Tory! If I see the two of you biting at each other again I swear I'm gonna stick you in the fucking PC and never let you see the light of day again! You got that?

[The Sharpedo and Deino pull faces once his back is turned, but at least they seem to be listening.]

Alright, on my mark... go!

[...This can only end well.]
diamondo: (✦ 15)
[ VIDEO ]


Alright, I've got a question to those of you who've been here awhile. Why the fuck doesn't the Game Corner boot minors out?

[Mondo is sitting on a bench somewhere in Goldenrod City, looking a bit irritated. Sitting beside him is a Riolu, kicking his feet and staring at the 'Gear like it's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.]

I thought I was getting away with getting in 'cause I look like an adult, but I swear to fucking God I saw a kid in there today! They didn't kick 'em out either! The fuck is wrong with this place? Kids aren't supposed to be allowed to gamble like that!

[Clearly he's only mad because he thought he was breaking the law and sticking it to the man or whatever. Turns out he wasn't. Whoops.]

While we're at it, what all can you get from the Game Corner, Pokémon-wise? I wanna see if there's anything there worth trying to get. Probably not, but it's worth a shot, right?

[Mondo motions for the camera-mon to cut it there, but instead it keeps rolling.]

Fuck, what am I gonna do with all these coins if there ain't anything I want there? Just fucking give 'em away? Seems like a waste--

[And then suddenly a loud cawing sound catches his attention and Mondo is promptly attacked by a bird.]

Fuck!! Get the fuck offa me you son of a--!!

[The bird squawks when Mondo hits it and flies off, carrying Mondo's coin case with it.]

Oh you've gotta be fucking shitting me! Pierce, Ryder, let's go!

[And with that, the feed cuts on Mondo and the Riolu, Pierce, dashing off after the bird.]

[ ACTION - GOLDENROD CITY ]


[If you're in Goldenrod, chances are you'll find Mondo chasing after that pesky Murkrow. Occasionally he'll have Pierce the Riolu aim a Sky Uppercut at it, but it seems the Murkrow is just fast enough to get out of the way. Occasionally the coin case will drop a few coins here and there that Ryder the Scraggy will pick up and stuff in her... uh, pants-pouch-thing.

This ridiculously stupid show will go on for quite some time if it's not interrupted, until Mondo finally seems to realize that the smartest thing to do would be to catch the Murkrow. He finally throws a Pokéball at it and retrieves the Coin Case that it dropped, shoving it in his bag and glowering at the Pokéball.

Much to his displeasure, the ball locks with a click. He's now the not-so-proud owner of a mischievous Murkrow.]


Fucking hell.

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Mondo Ōwada (大和田 紋土)

July 2020

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