Make ash and leave the dust behind, leaving diamonds in the sky

[Guess who woke up inside the Team Rocket base today? Guess who's apparently been gone for at least a month? And guess who's currently staring at the camera like it's the source of all his problems?

If you guessed Mondo then congratulations!]

Okay, what the hell happened? Apparently I can't even go to fucking sleep without something stupid going down. Did I get sent home?

[He rests his elbow on his knee and then places his chin on his hand. It's apparent that Mondo is still in the base - to those who recognize the base, that is - and it looks like he only just got up. Somehow or other his hair is completely unaffected. Don't question it.]

I don't really give a fuck either way, but I've got a major problem.

[He reaches out offscreen to grab something that makes a high-pitched shrieking sound. It's revealed to be a Scraggy who is trying vainly to get Mondo to let go. Those of you who know the biker gang leader might remember that he had a really bitchy Scrafty at one point. ...Yeah.]

Ryder's de-evolved. Unevolved? What-the-fuck-ever. She's not a Scrafty anymore. And she's fucking level thirty. She was level 100 last time I checked! Does this shit happen here? I've never heard of it happening. So what the fuck's going on?

[He finally lets her go and she scurries offscreen. Mondo resettles and while he still looks annoyed, his tone is at least a bit more conversational.]

...So what did I miss anyway?

[ VIDEO ]

Alright, I've got a question to those of you who've been here awhile. Why the fuck doesn't the Game Corner boot minors out?

[Mondo is sitting on a bench somewhere in Goldenrod City, looking a bit irritated. Sitting beside him is a Riolu, kicking his feet and staring at the 'Gear like it's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.]

I thought I was getting away with getting in 'cause I look like an adult, but I swear to fucking God I saw a kid in there today! They didn't kick 'em out either! The fuck is wrong with this place? Kids aren't supposed to be allowed to gamble like that!

[Clearly he's only mad because he thought he was breaking the law and sticking it to the man or whatever. Turns out he wasn't. Whoops.]

While we're at it, what all can you get from the Game Corner, Pokémon-wise? I wanna see if there's anything there worth trying to get. Probably not, but it's worth a shot, right?

[Mondo motions for the camera-mon to cut it there, but instead it keeps rolling.]

Fuck, what am I gonna do with all these coins if there ain't anything I want there? Just fucking give 'em away? Seems like a waste--

[And then suddenly a loud cawing sound catches his attention and Mondo is promptly attacked by a bird.]

Fuck!! Get the fuck offa me you son of a--!!

[The bird squawks when Mondo hits it and flies off, carrying Mondo's coin case with it.]

Oh you've gotta be fucking shitting me! Pierce, Ryder, let's go!

[And with that, the feed cuts on Mondo and the Riolu, Pierce, dashing off after the bird.]

[ ACTION - GOLDENROD CITY ]

[If you're in Goldenrod, chances are you'll find Mondo chasing after that pesky Murkrow. Occasionally he'll have Pierce the Riolu aim a Sky Uppercut at it, but it seems the Murkrow is just fast enough to get out of the way. Occasionally the coin case will drop a few coins here and there that Ryder the Scraggy will pick up and stuff in her... uh, pants-pouch-thing.

This ridiculously stupid show will go on for quite some time if it's not interrupted, until Mondo finally seems to realize that the smartest thing to do would be to catch the Murkrow. He finally throws a Pokéball at it and retrieves the Coin Case that it dropped, shoving it in his bag and glowering at the Pokéball.

Much to his displeasure, the ball locks with a click. He's now the not-so-proud owner of a mischievous Murkrow.]

Fucking hell.