diamondo | THIRD RIDE ✦ TEXT / ACTION [VIOLET CITY]

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THIRD RIDE ✦ TEXT / ACTION [VIOLET CITY]

[ TEXT ]

[A strange text post goes out to the network today. It appears to be a list of some kind.]

▶ get a motorcycle
▶ mod the fuck out of it
▶ fuck up ryder's shit
▶ find a fucking gym
▶ train
▶ train
▶ train
▶ fucking train
▶ get stronger (physically/emotionally/mentally??)
▶ find a sauna!!!!!
▶ actually get a date
▶ somehow
▶ god this is gonna fucking suck
▶ ~~see every city in johto~~
▶ fuck that's a lofty goal isn't it
▶ see every major city in johto
▶ that's better
▶ get all the badges
▶ (it's a matter of fucking pride)
▶ round out pkmn roster (no more dark types!!!)
▶ um
▶ fuck
▶ i'm forgetting something aren't i
▶ shit

[Five minutes after that's accidentally posted to the network, a proper text follows.]

oh shit ignore that last post, that wasn't supposed to go public
...actually, tell me about the things you want to do here
i need more shit on my to do list
are there any awesome places to see or anything like that?

[ ACTION - VIOLET CITY ]

[It's not surprising that Mondo's out training on the outskirts of the city. What is surprising is that he isn't fighting his Pokémon today. He's ditched the usual coat today and if one looks closely, they can see a massive bruise over his shoulders and leading down toward his back. That might be from fighting his Pokémon. Maybe. But that's not what he's doing today - today he's got his Pokémon out, situated in teams of two facing off against each other.]

Alright, we're gonna practice double battling today. Ryder! Quit trying to punch Pierce, he's your partner!

[The Scrafty shoots him a dirty look, but she knocks it off. At least until Mondo's back is turned, then she socks the Lucario in the gut and knocks him over.]

Lex, Tory! If I see the two of you biting at each other again I swear I'm gonna stick you in the fucking PC and never let you see the light of day again! You got that?

[The Sharpedo and Deino pull faces once his back is turned, but at least they seem to be listening.]

Alright, on my mark... go!

[...This can only end well.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Well, Mondo doesn't see anything wrong with what she's wearing! Then again he should never be asked for fashion advice because he seems to think that white loafers are an acceptable form of footwear.]

Thanks for offering to help with this, but fuck, you'll see what I mean when I say I'm really bad with girls.

[But more importantly...]

You got a car in mind?

The last one I boosted was an ice cream truck in Goldenrod, but we put it back. That was a big city, though. Violet's pretty big, too, but it doesn't have as much traffic.

[She shrugs.]

You want to just go walk around and see what we can find?

Yeah, sure! You'll have to tell me more about this, 'cause that sounds fucking hilarious.

Oh, this guy I know, Reno — well, knew, I guess, back before he left — he thought he could beat me in a race? And we were bored and there really aren't any cars around but there are ice cream trucks so we ended up grabbing a couple of those and pulled out the speed limiters. I think they topped out about eighty-five?

[That was a beautiful day.]

Holy shit, that sounds like the best kinda race!

[Well, short of his races back home, but he hasn't really been all that into those since Daiya-- well, that's enough of that train of thought.]

So who won?

[She just gives him the SMUGGEST LOOK. Srsly. No explanation needed.]

Oh I see. Congrats, then!

[That has got to be the most hilarious expression ever. Don't mind him laughing, alright.]

[Don't mind her giving him a friendly shove, then, either.]

See? You don't have trouble talking to girls.

[Mondo laughs and nudges her gently.]

Not like this, no! I mean, I always thought I was bad at it, but between you and Asahina I've had it pretty good here, I think!

[It's just trying to ask a girl out...]

So what's the problem?

[Seriously. WHY IS THIS HARD.]

W-well, like I said, when I get nervous I yell! I can't really control it!

[He's already getting a bit louder than usual, sorry about that.]

[Hmmm. He is getting louder. Hmmmmmmmmm.]

So why not just ask them out from like thirty feet away, so it's not weird that you're yelling anyway?

[#nailed it]

[ALICE........]

That's ridiculous! I'm not gonna do that! I'm trying to figure out how to ask a girl out without screaming at 'em, not make use of the screaming!

Okay...then ask me out. And every time you start yelling I'll punch you in the arm. That'll work, right?

...I'm pretty sure that's not gonna work...

[But alright. Alright. The least he can do is give it a try. Mondo takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes for a moment, imagining that this is just like the situations back home. He's really interested in her. He's going to ask her out. He can do this.]

S-So... Alice, will you...

[Shit, bad start, bad start. Being blunt about it is okay, but he doesn't sound confident as it is. Okay. Deep breaths. He can do this.]

Will you... will you please go out with me!?

[......................

he's ready for that punch now.]

...Sure!

[She bellows, as she socks him in the arm.]

It's not gonna work if you just do it like that, though.

[...You know, maybe he just needs to find a girl that will yell back at him. Like Alice. Only not Alice because she's like female Ishimaru and that would be weird and incest-y.]

Yeah? You got any suggestions?

[Wow, you really do pack a punch, Alice!]

No.

[It's actually a very honest, matter-of-fact sort of "no", really, accompanied by a shake of her head.]

See, what you're doing is what I would do. You need to be doing what a grifter would do. Like...talking.

[She considers this another minute, contemplating her own lessons in grifting from way back when. She was never good at them, but that doesn't mean she can't remember them.]

People are hard because they don't just...say what they mean. You're probably getting nervous because you're trying to just say what you mean, but you kinda know that's not...what you're supposed to be saying? So then you mess up because you know it's wrong but you don't know what to say to make it right. You know? Some people just know what to say. Some people don't.

[Mondo tips his head a bit as Alice talks, trying to wrap his head around what she's saying. She certainly does have a point - he does try to say exactly what he means, and usually he doesn't have any problem with it. So she's probably right, he's not just talking like normal, he's struggling to say exactly what he means when in reality, that might not be the best way of going about it.]

Shit, I hadn't thought of it like that. I mean, it kinda sounds like you're beating around the bush, y'know? But if you think that'll help, I'll try it out!

People are...fiddly. Kind of like locks. Like...you can bust out a car window to get the door open, or you can get a wire in to open the locking mechanism, or you can use a cell phone to spoof the electrical signal and make it think someone used the fob to unlock it, or you can steal the keys to unlock it, or you can go find the guy who owns the car and make him think you want to go back to his apartment and have sex so he'll unlock it for you.

[. . . PARKER]

They all get the door open, right? Just...some are more fiddly. And make you less likely to get pulled over by the cops.

[You know, that was possibly the strangest thing he's ever heard. That said, Mondo is nodding enthusiastically.]

Yeah, you're right!

[Look at the pompadour bouncing! Clearly he's very excited.]

Taking one standardized approach to everyone ain't gonna help me land a date! I've gotta figure out what approach would work best for the girl I'm trying to ask out!

[He's getting a bit louder, but that's due to excitement rather than nervousness. He's also clipping his words a lot shorter than normal, but it's hard to talk with a decent, understandable accent when you're this worked up!!]

So I've gotta make sure I get to know the girl real well first, then worry about how to "unlock" 'em!

[MONDO THAT WAS LAME]

[You know, she's...not actually sure if that was the point of the observation, but that sounds sensible enough and it's not like she knows how to grift for shit, anyway. Sophie would probably approve, maybe, if for nothing else than on the grounds that at least nobody's getting stabbed here.]

So try it again. Pretend I'm somebody you know really well and fiddle it.

[She says, as she readies her punching fist.]

Hey, I don't have to pretend! I'd like to think we know each other pretty well!

[...Look, he's a little naive.

It takes him a moment to compose himself and figure out how he's going to start, but once he gets over the initial hesitation, he slips back into talking like there's absolutely nothing weird about this. This is probably because he's not over-thinking it, but who knows.]

So... we've known each other for awhile now. I mean, Ishimaru really managed to find a great friend and I'm really happy we've met! I'm very happy being friends with you but... I think I'd like something more, y'know? I think we'd... [here we go] make a great couple! S-so will you consider going out with me?

[Well, he's still a lot louder than he should be, but at least it seems more natural?]

[Well, maybe he knows Alice White pretty well. She's pretty straightforward. Also kind of as dumb as a sack of hammers, but hey.

It's a realization that gives Parker a touch of pause, because the more she hangs out with Mondo, the more she's growing to appreciate that he's the kind of person Parker would get along with, and whom Alice would probably be offended by or afraid of.]

Did you hear that in a movie or something?

[Whoops. Speaking of saying things without thinking too hard about them...]

Now you sound nice, but you don't sound like you. You say stuff like, "Shit, I think you're fucking awesome!", not "Wow, you're really nice!" If you were trying to get the girl to think you're somebody else, then yeah, but...

[And then she sort of stops, like something has just occurred to her that she'd legitimately never considered before.]

...but you want them to like you. That's why it's such a big deal when they do. ...Right? Because...somebody liked you. Who you are. Even...if who you are is kind of...weird.

Hey, I'm not that weird!

[But he doesn't sound offended, he's a bit more preoccupied with what she's saying.]

Yeah, that's it exactly! I guess I haven't been doing a really good job of it back home; I mean, I never really talked to girls much back home. But here I talk to you and Asahina and I'm not trying to act differently or anything. I'm just being myself.

[He grins then, as if that solves every problem in the world.]

So yeah, you're right! I just need to be myself and get to know the girl before I ask her out, and when I'm doing that, I need to make sure I'm not trying to act any differently! I mean, I usually try to hold back on the cussing around girls 'cause I feel like that'll offend 'em, but I haven't been doing that around you or Asahina and neither of you guys seem all that bothered by it! So I'll just fucking be myself and everything should work out, right?

THIRD RIDE ✦ TEXT / ACTION [VIOLET CITY]

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