FIRST RIDE ✦ VIDEO / ACTION [GOLDENROD CITY]

[diamondo]

[ VIDEO ]

Alright, I've got a question to those of you who've been here awhile. Why the fuck doesn't the Game Corner boot minors out?

[Mondo is sitting on a bench somewhere in Goldenrod City, looking a bit irritated. Sitting beside him is a Riolu, kicking his feet and staring at the 'Gear like it's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.]

I thought I was getting away with getting in 'cause I look like an adult, but I swear to fucking God I saw a kid in there today! They didn't kick 'em out either! The fuck is wrong with this place? Kids aren't supposed to be allowed to gamble like that!

[Clearly he's only mad because he thought he was breaking the law and sticking it to the man or whatever. Turns out he wasn't. Whoops.]

While we're at it, what all can you get from the Game Corner, Pokémon-wise? I wanna see if there's anything there worth trying to get. Probably not, but it's worth a shot, right?

[Mondo motions for the camera-mon to cut it there, but instead it keeps rolling.]

Fuck, what am I gonna do with all these coins if there ain't anything I want there? Just fucking give 'em away? Seems like a waste--

[And then suddenly a loud cawing sound catches his attention and Mondo is promptly attacked by a bird.]

Fuck!! Get the fuck offa me you son of a--!!

[The bird squawks when Mondo hits it and flies off, carrying Mondo's coin case with it.]

Oh you've gotta be fucking shitting me! Pierce, Ryder, let's go!

[And with that, the feed cuts on Mondo and the Riolu, Pierce, dashing off after the bird.]

[ ACTION - GOLDENROD CITY ]

[If you're in Goldenrod, chances are you'll find Mondo chasing after that pesky Murkrow. Occasionally he'll have Pierce the Riolu aim a Sky Uppercut at it, but it seems the Murkrow is just fast enough to get out of the way. Occasionally the coin case will drop a few coins here and there that Ryder the Scraggy will pick up and stuff in her... uh, pants-pouch-thing.

This ridiculously stupid show will go on for quite some time if it's not interrupted, until Mondo finally seems to realize that the smartest thing to do would be to catch the Murkrow. He finally throws a Pokéball at it and retrieves the Coin Case that it dropped, shoving it in his bag and glowering at the Pokéball.

Much to his displeasure, the ball locks with a click. He's now the not-so-proud owner of a mischievous Murkrow.]

Fucking hell.

Comments

[diamondo]

It's always been an age-related thing! Kids aren't allowed to gamble where I'm from.

And fuck's up with your accent anyway?

[thevveribest]

Pffft, where I'm from, gamblin' is the fuckin' least a worries. Murderin', pillagin', an' the like is far more important than simple gamblin'.

And there ain't nothin' UP with my accent, it's a symbol a my royal status, but I guess a pink-skinned sandlicker like you wouldn't know that, now would you?

[diamondo]

The fuck kinda place do you come from? That sounds fucking awful. And you want me to believe that you're royalty? Yeah right!!

[thevveribest]

It ain't awful! It was awesome! I'm from the planet Alternia, I'm a troll, and I AM royalty! I'm a fuckin' prince, you lowly bloody peasant.

You don't got the right to question the state of my royal status.

[diamondo]

You expect me to believe you're some kinda alien? You're fucking crazy, man.

[He'll just laugh at that because seriously, worst joke ever, dude.]

And if you think killing sounds fucking awesome, then you're someone worth avoiding. So thanks for the heads up, I guess?

[thevveribest]

To be accurate, you're the alien. But yeah, I'm a seatroll, and if this place didn't distort my anatomy to such a disgustin' degree, you wouldn't be questionin' the legitimacy of my claim.

An' killin' ain't a big deal, it's kind of a cultural staple for my species. But if you're so much a coward to be unable to handle basic interactions with someone of my lethal skill, then I guess you're not worth my time.

[diamondo]

[...He's not even going to question what a seatroll is because he gets the feeling he wouldn't like the answer...]

Killing's a huge deal, the fuck are you talking about!? I ain't a fucking coward either - I just find the idea of killing someone to be fucking disgusting!

[thevveribest]

I'we killed literally hundreds a thousands, an' I am tellin' you it ain't a big fuckin' deal. Someone like you wouldn't last a fuckin' night on my planet.

[diamondo]

You're fucking sick! How the fuck could you kill hundreds of thousands of people!?

[thevveribest]

Calm down, they were primarily low bloods anyways, an' besides, it's just a part of FLARP.

[diamondo]

Fuck, so you kill people and then you don't give a fuck because they're of a lower status than you are? Please tell me this is how everyone from your fucked-up world thinks.

[Then again, that's really not any better, is it...]

And what the fuck is FLARP?

[thevveribest]

Of course, they liwe to be stepped on after all. Honestly, their entire purpose is to be ruled an' used. They're basically fodder. An' you're correct, my entire society liwes by these standards. Surwiwal a the fittest an' all that.

Fatal Live Action Role Playin'.

[diamondo]

[...Well that's... horrible-- wait.]

Live Action Role Playing. You mean that shit nerds do? And you kill each other over it? What the fuck is wrong with your world? No, that's a genuine question.

[He's starting to suspect he's being trolled.]

[thevveribest]

Nerds? Pffft. If the most fearsome Seagrift rulin' the stormy waters, makin' the ocean his cullin' couldron, constitutes me as a nerd, I guess.

But yes, we kill each other. What else would you do when you'we defeated someone in battle? Spare them? That's openin' your flank up to get stabbed, you'd be a fuckin' fool doin' that. A dead fool, that is.