FIRST RIDE ✦ VIDEO / ACTION [GOLDENROD CITY]

[diamondo]

[ VIDEO ]

Alright, I've got a question to those of you who've been here awhile. Why the fuck doesn't the Game Corner boot minors out?

[Mondo is sitting on a bench somewhere in Goldenrod City, looking a bit irritated. Sitting beside him is a Riolu, kicking his feet and staring at the 'Gear like it's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.]

I thought I was getting away with getting in 'cause I look like an adult, but I swear to fucking God I saw a kid in there today! They didn't kick 'em out either! The fuck is wrong with this place? Kids aren't supposed to be allowed to gamble like that!

[Clearly he's only mad because he thought he was breaking the law and sticking it to the man or whatever. Turns out he wasn't. Whoops.]

While we're at it, what all can you get from the Game Corner, Pokémon-wise? I wanna see if there's anything there worth trying to get. Probably not, but it's worth a shot, right?

[Mondo motions for the camera-mon to cut it there, but instead it keeps rolling.]

Fuck, what am I gonna do with all these coins if there ain't anything I want there? Just fucking give 'em away? Seems like a waste--

[And then suddenly a loud cawing sound catches his attention and Mondo is promptly attacked by a bird.]

Fuck!! Get the fuck offa me you son of a--!!

[The bird squawks when Mondo hits it and flies off, carrying Mondo's coin case with it.]

Oh you've gotta be fucking shitting me! Pierce, Ryder, let's go!

[And with that, the feed cuts on Mondo and the Riolu, Pierce, dashing off after the bird.]

[ ACTION - GOLDENROD CITY ]

[If you're in Goldenrod, chances are you'll find Mondo chasing after that pesky Murkrow. Occasionally he'll have Pierce the Riolu aim a Sky Uppercut at it, but it seems the Murkrow is just fast enough to get out of the way. Occasionally the coin case will drop a few coins here and there that Ryder the Scraggy will pick up and stuff in her... uh, pants-pouch-thing.

This ridiculously stupid show will go on for quite some time if it's not interrupted, until Mondo finally seems to realize that the smartest thing to do would be to catch the Murkrow. He finally throws a Pokéball at it and retrieves the Coin Case that it dropped, shoving it in his bag and glowering at the Pokéball.

Much to his displeasure, the ball locks with a click. He's now the not-so-proud owner of a mischievous Murkrow.]

Fucking hell.

Comments

[diamondo]

Ugh, shut up! There's nothing endearing about it!!

[Why do you do this to him, aniki?]

[ardent]

[Would you prefer he lecture you on the potential harms of gambling? Because he could do that instead.

As it stands, he just laughs at that.]

Everything is endearing about it!

[diamondo]

[...Listening to a lecture or being tormented...]

Is not!!

[...Okay, yeah, that was childish, even for him. Let's try again.]

You're being ridiculous! It's just a fucking bird, what's the big deal!?

[ardent]

[Okay, okay, he'll leave you alone.]

There's no need to be so defensive about it! But if you're going to insist...

[...all right, now he'll leave you alone.]

[diamondo]

[Ughhhhh just let him tsun forever okay!!]

Yeah, well. Did you just call to lecture me about going into the Game Corner?

[ardent]

That was why I called, yes!

[...Ishimaru, your tact...]

...It was something that was deserving of at least a lecture if it wasn't for a good reason!

[He suspects that really didn't make it any better.]

[video]

[thevveribest]

Good job on losin' your winnin's, idiot.

But who fuckin' giwes a shit if a kid is gamblin'? Since when has that EWER been a age related thing?

[video]

[lieutenantantichrist]

[Did somebody call for a scowling authority figure?]

Damn right. There's something wrong with a place that lets kids gamble away their lunch money at the craps table.

Wait a minute. If you didn't know that, what were you doing in there?

[Video]

[killer_sweets]

You must be fairly new here if you didn't know that. Besides that isn't even that bad compare to how punishment works in this place.

If it will makes you feel better, you can also buy or rent property too no matter what age. I have something setup in Goldenrod, myself.

[diamondo]

Yeah, well, it was for a good reason! I just wanted to make sure no kids were allowed in there! They are though, so I'm not sure what that says 'bout this world. Other than it being fucked up.

[diamondo]

It's always been an age-related thing! Kids aren't allowed to gamble where I'm from.

And fuck's up with your accent anyway?

[diamondo]

[Oh no, not an authority figure!!]

What do you think I was doing in there? Gambling! I used to get away with it all the time back home, but shit wasn't legal there.

[He might sound kind of put out.]

[diamondo]

Whoa, no way! Really? That's pretty fucking crazy! I guess getting a place would be a good idea...

[It would mean living somewhere that's not underground! Sounds good!]

And what's this 'bout punishment?

[ardent]

It's disappointing, but I'm not surprised - according to someone else I've spoken to, children are sent out to fend for themselves at the age of ten!

There's not even a proper education system here, aniki!

[AND THAT'S TERRIBLE.]

[diamondo]

Shit, really? Those lucky bastards!

[...He suspects that wasn't the point.]

[thevveribest]

Pffft, where I'm from, gamblin' is the fuckin' least a worries. Murderin', pillagin', an' the like is far more important than simple gamblin'.

And there ain't nothin' UP with my accent, it's a symbol a my royal status, but I guess a pink-skinned sandlicker like you wouldn't know that, now would you?

[diamondo]

The fuck kinda place do you come from? That sounds fucking awful. And you want me to believe that you're royalty? Yeah right!!

[ardent]

[Judging from the amount of sharp physical flailing and the fact that he's now loud enough to be getting ambient crackling out of the mic system on the device behind his words...probably not.]

It's not lucky at all! What sort of principles are they even imparting on the next generation?! No wonder this world is in such a state of disarray - no one has taught these people anything with regards to discipline and regulations!!

[thevveribest]

It ain't awful! It was awesome! I'm from the planet Alternia, I'm a troll, and I AM royalty! I'm a fuckin' prince, you lowly bloody peasant.

You don't got the right to question the state of my royal status.

[diamondo]

[Oh good lord. He really shouldn't be surprised...]

Hey, hey, calm down, aniki. You're gonna break this fucking thing. If you care so much about the education of the young or whatever, why don't you teach 'em or something? Sure you can't teach all of 'em, but you can at least make a difference with a few, right?

[It'll give you something to do and it'll keep you out of his hair so he can do more awesome things like gambling! Win-win!!]

[diamondo]

You expect me to believe you're some kinda alien? You're fucking crazy, man.

[He'll just laugh at that because seriously, worst joke ever, dude.]

And if you think killing sounds fucking awesome, then you're someone worth avoiding. So thanks for the heads up, I guess?

[thevveribest]

To be accurate, you're the alien. But yeah, I'm a seatroll, and if this place didn't distort my anatomy to such a disgustin' degree, you wouldn't be questionin' the legitimacy of my claim.

An' killin' ain't a big deal, it's kind of a cultural staple for my species. But if you're so much a coward to be unable to handle basic interactions with someone of my lethal skill, then I guess you're not worth my time.

[killer_sweets]

Yeah all you need is the money to rent out a place.

There is only one punishment for the crimes done in this place and it's community service. Even then it's if you get arrested, warrents don't last that long in this either.

[diamondo]

[...He's not even going to question what a seatroll is because he gets the feeling he wouldn't like the answer...]

Killing's a huge deal, the fuck are you talking about!? I ain't a fucking coward either - I just find the idea of killing someone to be fucking disgusting!

[diamondo]

...Are you shitting me? That's it? Just community service?

[Holy shit that's awesome. Ishimaru's going to have a heart attack when he hears that, but this is great! Mondo can get away with whatever he wants!]