Entry tags:
EIGHTH RIDE ✦ ANONYMOUS TEXT
What's the worst thing you've ever done? How did you recover from it?
I did something awful back home and the guilt's been eating me up ever since. I have some days where everything's fine and I don't even think about it. Other days it's all I can think about and I can barely do anything. I'm not saying I want to get rid of the guilt entirely because that's not possible, but how do you cope with it? I think it's about time I try to deal with it in other, healthier ways.
...Actually, while I'm on the subject, what's the worst thing someone's ever done to you? Did you forgive them? If so, how? I'm not the sort of person that can forgive easily, but holding onto a grudge forever is pretty awful.
[Look at that, he even went to all the trouble of typing properly so as to hide his identity! He even took out the numerous foul words that originally peppered the message!]
I did something awful back home and the guilt's been eating me up ever since. I have some days where everything's fine and I don't even think about it. Other days it's all I can think about and I can barely do anything. I'm not saying I want to get rid of the guilt entirely because that's not possible, but how do you cope with it? I think it's about time I try to deal with it in other, healthier ways.
...Actually, while I'm on the subject, what's the worst thing someone's ever done to you? Did you forgive them? If so, how? I'm not the sort of person that can forgive easily, but holding onto a grudge forever is pretty awful.
[Look at that, he even went to all the trouble of typing properly so as to hide his identity! He even took out the numerous foul words that originally peppered the message!]
[text]
As for the worst thing I ever did? Hell, I got a long list of times I screwed up. Thinking back, the worst is probably the time I mistakenly killed somebody I shouldn't have. It's
toughnearly impossible to get over all the really miserable fuckups, but all I can really say is 'try to pick up and move on'.[anonymous text forever]
Yeah. I've been doing that for a long time. It's easier some days than others, like I said, but I feel like there's got to be a better way to go about it. I usually try to distract myself from what's bothering me, but it always feels forced, if that makes sense?
[text forever because shameless]
The alternative, though, fuck those guys. Nothin' but trouble.
Anyway. Maybe there is a better method--I don't know, if you're looking for distractions, try pickin' up something you've never done before. Learn something interesting, some shit like that. But it's gonna feel forced regardless, if you got some ungodly awful shit hanging over your head the whole time.
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[Mondo stop, you're going to hurt yourself at this rate.]
Oh yeah, that's a good idea. The doing something new part, I mean. I've been doing the same old stuff for awhile now, so trying something new might work a bit better.
But yeah, I don't expect it to go away suddenly or anything like that. I guess I'm just looking for ways to handle it.
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anon text right back
[He's only talked about Berik with a few people, but he's never gone into too much detail. ...Yolo.] I forgave the person who devoured one of my childhood friends. They weren't in control of themselves, so it wasn't my place to be angry with them. Was I wary of them? Of course. But I still forgave them.
As for the worst thing I've ever done, I, uh. ...I'm not sure if you want to hear it.
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I guess I can understand that sort of situation. I've been on the other side of that though; I lost control and did something awful to someone. It's not something I can ever forgive myself for.
You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I've done some pretty awful things myself, so I don't think it'll bother me or anything.
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Are you absolutely sure?
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Yeah. I am.
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[text] locked
I have had many people do things to me that I shouldn't have forgiven them for. So many that I cannot pick out just one. I cannot say that I truly forgave them for it, but I did what I could to get past it.
I did anything I could.
[anonymous text forever] locked
Time to man up.]
You're definitely a better person than me. I've been really bitter in the past and held grudges for things that didn't really matter. I guess it's not something I can really learn easily, but I don't want to keep doing that sort of thing.
Thanks for the advice. I've been trying to get myself involved in things, but no matter what I do I keep getting distracted. I guess I just need to find something that requires more attention or something.
[text] locked
Oh, well I...I wouldn't say that. But thank you. And you're welcome.
Talking about it is supposed to help too, but I understand that most of the time that isn't always the best idea. Especially if it is something you would rather keep to yourself.
If it helps you at all, I think that you are very brave for asking for help about this in the first place.
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anon text forever;
[It would out him immediately anyway to anyone who might be reading, so, uh...]
To answer your question on whether I forgive them or not, that's actually a pretty loaded question. The short answer is "no" but the longer one begins with "no, but".
What this person did was a long time ago, and I'm not usually one to hold a grudge. This was one of those exceptional things. That being said, my situation is probably not directly comparable.
The person I know would never express regret for what happened.
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I'm guessing you don't wanna go into more detail? It sounds like an interesting story.
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It's a long story.
...Well, I could try and explain it. This person was someone important to me. But then things happened that made it clear it was one-sided. That's the gist of it.
That kind of thing happens.
[One day he'll realize that being incredibly honest and being anonymous doesn't mix, but today isn't that day.]
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[anonymous text]
I haven't really found a way to deal with it; I guess I'm still looking.
When it comes to the second question, I try to forgive people for the things they've done to me, because holding on to that sort of thing is terrible and it just eats you up inside. I don't forget, though. I don't hold grudges, but I don't forget. Usually I just try to make the anger into something productive.
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How do you make that anger productive?
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Ah, but the productivity is a matter of dedicating myself to things that make it so that whatever happened to me can't happen to other people. Learning from example and then using what I've learned to help others, if that makes sense.
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[anon text forever]
I'm not going into detail about the worst thing that was done to me because that is something I'm going to be angry about for the rest of my life, thank you very much. There are some things that just aren't forgivable, and if you're asking this question because you're not sure that what you did can or will be forgiven, then really, that's up to whomever you screwed over. For what it's worth, I hope they rise to this incredibly obvious bait and absolve you if it matters so much to you, though.
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[text] I am so sorry for the repeated edits
I almost got my best friend killed because I went into a situation without knowing if I could get out of it. He has a scar now. We don't talk about it anymore. Sure, I was guilty about that, I still feel sad that it happened occasionally. But sometimes things just happen and there's nothing you can do about it, it's how you learn from it and move on that counts. I don't know if that can apply to your own situation, since everyone is different, but it's what I've learned.
[As for that other, there's her father breaking up the family with his cheating, but that's too small-time. She can forgive him for that eventually, she's starting to actually, though she still doesn't trust him. Then Maka thinks of Medusa and that familiar spark of hatred comes back.]
And that... The most unforgivable person I know took away another friend from me. She claims that she's his mother, but the way she treated him like an experiment and personal weapon is in no way motherly. The reason I won't be able to see him anymore is because of her, and my only regret is I wasn't the one that killed her. I can't guarantee I wouldn't try if she ended up here, either. If that's holding onto a grudge, I'm just fine with it, I can never forgive a person as inhuman as that.
[Somehow those two situations are related, so it's not strange to her to say them both.]
{ Text }
I'm not proud of stealin, but everyone has ta eat, right? An most of the time, it wasn't me stealin exactly. I still ate what was taken, though.
Then the worst that has happened ta me...
My parents - if you could call em that - used to beat me pretty bad. They even burned me. But I don't dwell, ye know? What good will that do. I gotta move on an live my life.
[text]
Jesus christ, it's every fucking day with you people!
"What do you miss" "What do you think about alternate universes" "How do you stop thinking about hating somebody" "You're in the desert and you leave a turtle on its back", on and fucking on! You ever think maybe people don't want to think about your pissant moral quandaries? Oh, or hey, here's a fun thought - maybe it's none of your fucking business. People are trying to live their goddamn lives here, there's no room for some assholes picking and needling about every fucking thing somebody's ever done.
[The phone in Blake's hand is not staying steady.]
What the fuck do you want from me?
[text]
[walter that's terrible advice-]
The worst things done to me weren't done to me alone and if I ever forgave them I would have to condemn myself. I suppose I'll never forgive the person who schemed to have me killed but he poses no danger anymore so I don't dwell on him. Forgiveness is something I heard a lot about while growing up but I'm soured on the whole idea now.
regular text forever
I'd say the worst thing I've ever done hasn't happened yet, and everything I have done has always been low-key. But here... hmm, I'd say it's the way I treated my Pokémon. When I first started out, I saw them more as weapons than partners, and because of that, I've got a couple of Pokémon that are overly violent. They only care about fights, and it makes me wish I'd slowed down and tried to raise them better.
Nobody's really done anything unforgivable to me, but that doesn't mean it'll stay that way.